The Setup (Cont.)


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Well, I’m back to continue to the story from my last post. So we last left off with us in the car and she asked me to tell her some nice things about herself and I did. Fabulous, that worked out nicely but she was still quite skeptical that I was really interested in her (I guess holding hands in an empty, cold theater doesn’t really count). At this point we must have spent a good 8 hours together that day but we weren’t done yet, not by a long shot. We drove away from that parking lot and went to a less crowded one (where she left her car earlier. She drove my car back; something that I don’t let people do 😛 ). Forgive me for the lack of detail here but I don’t exactly remember how we got to this question but somehow we get back to talking about the qualities that she possesses that I really like. It is at this point that I, as she would call it, drop the the bombshell. I listed off many of the qualities that I like but concluded with something along the lines of, “…but you’re divorced so there is no way I can get passed that.” Now at the moment of saying it I never really considered it to be a big deal. To be honest because we were both Christians I just assumed that this was something that was known but apparently I was wrong, very wrong. Even though to this point we were never physical (no touching, no kissing just good conversation and a lot of time spent together) she still must have held out hope that something could happen. I don’t remember all of the details of her reaction but I do know that she was saddened more than angry about it. The conversation continued (not completely focused on the “bombshell”) and again (sorry for the lack of deatail) she decided to throw me a miny bombshell of her own, “Why don’t we just kiss to see if there is anything there. At least we won’t have to wonder and at worst we could have a good memory”. Of course I’m not used to girls just coming out and basically throwing themselves at me (probably more due to the type of girls I hang around and not necessarily because girls don’t ever do it)so I was a little taken back. I told her, in essence, “No way, this is crazy. Why would you even suggest that. What kind of girl does that”. To this reaction she assured me that it wasn’t because it’s something she does often. In fact she suggested that she has never made such a proposal in all of her life and she wasn’t exactly sure why she did with me. Needless to say I wasn’t completely convinced about that. I would say that in the back of my mind was the thought that she was just very liberal in her thinking towards sexuality (not my cup of tea when it comes to a women I would date to say the least). Anyways, though the rest of the night was every bit as great as the first half of the night we still had that “minor” disagreement. Overall we spent about 12 hours with each other that day (close to 7 hours in the car after the movie) and I kid you not, it felt like about 2 hours. We were both shocked when we started taking note of the time. Although the “deal breaker” was revealed (the fact that I couldn’t marry a woman who was divorced) we still had a special kind of chemistry and we just clicked.

Ok, that’s all for now but next post I’ll talk about what happened after that date and what her reaction was after she had some time to think about it.


The Setup


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Ok, this blog is going to be really basic and straight forward. Ultimately I created the blog in order to answer one seemingly simple question: Was I Right? Let me give you the setup for the question before I start trolling for answers and opinions. So I met this girl on POF, she can be classified as smoking when she wants to be. Incredibly good looking, she’s pretty tall, fit, nice big booty. So far everything sounds good right? So we are both Christians with fairly strong beliefs and we both hold to them, well…As much as we can of course. Before I just layout the question let me say how the relationship progressed.

After talking once or twice on pof we decided that we could cut the pof umbilical cord and move onto emails and only a few days later we were onto phone conversations. The first phone conversation was pretty good all things considered. I mean, we spoke until after 1am without very many pauses in between. I guess I took that as a good sign but, eh, whatever. I’ve had good conversations in the past and I will again in the future because quite frankly; I’m a great conversationalist. So anyways, after a few more really good conversations on the phone we were comfortable enough to meet each other in person. The meeting went really well; why wouldn’t it? After all, we were talking on the phone so much it was like we already knew each other so I guess that shouldn’t have come as a big surprise. We spent a few hours at the coffee shop just talking, laughing, joking around and just having an all around good time. So the phone conversations continued, we met a few more times and everything was going well. I should mention, she was clearly into me from the beginning while I was a little more conservative and never really expressed any interest beyond the friendship that we had. So next, we decided to go for a lunch “date” which we agreed would be followed by a movie (turned out to be a bad movie but that’s pretty irrelevant I guess). The movie theatre is about 97% empty, which was fine by me, but I guess it was missing the usual warmth of all of the people so the theater seemed to be extra cold (Or is God just setting up a test…This should make more sense later). Of course the extreme chill of the theatre leads to complaints from my date (with good reason, I mean, her hands were freezing). So she leans a little closer towards me, and we cover up with our jackets but it still isn’t doing the trick. What’s a guy to do? I decided that I would hold her hand, since mine were still pretty warm, and I pull her arms close to my chest (I’m trying to paint the picture as best as I can but I’m no writer so bare with me). Of course after some it all starts feeling very natural so I start to rub her hand somewhat tenderly; some might say intimately. This basically happens on and off throughout the duration of the movie. I know, i know, in this modern society holding hands isn’t anything to tell the boys about but it still felt like a jump in the relationship. I would suggest that at that time we went from strictly platonic friends to something a little more that that in the span of a two hour movie (I guess girl/boy friendships only work when one of the parties is not attractive. If they ever work).

Ok, the point of the hand holding story was really just to show that there was a relationship jump that occurred. The date moves to the car where we sit and chat for awhile. We were supposed to have dinner but quite frankly neither of us were really interested. So as the conversation starts to progress she pulls out the famous (or is it infamous), “Tell me the things you like about me”. Now to be fair this didn’t exactly come out of nothing. For weeks prior she had been complaining that I was always pointing out her flaws and that I rarely gave her compliments. Rather than given her the standard stuff, you have a nice smile, you’re smart etc. I decided to tell her how she was making me feel and how her wisdom, which I believed was quite godly, was providing me with good insight and ultimately making me want to be a better man. She seemed to like that approach (I guess I should write a book).

It’s taking too long for me to get to the point so I’m going to pause here and come back tomorrow (or next time) with the continuation of “The Setup”.

Let me say, once I’m done with the story I’m going to ask everyone to way in, hopefully I can put a poll up so I can found out what people thing at large.

Until then all…